Where do I start. So many thoughts that I just don't know how to begin.

God is at work in my life, and He loves me more than anyone else could. He's patient with me, even when I'm so terribly stubborn and don't want to learn more about being like Christ. He has my very best at heart, and knows exactly what I need, even if I don't think I need it.

I've had to revisit the post from last year, and remind myself of everything I believe.

I'm pregnant. I don't want to be. Not at all. This is the third year in a row that I've been pregnant, and the same time of year. Which means I felt crummy for my birthday, again. I'll be going to the beach pregnant, again. I'll be wearing the same maternity clothes for the THIRD summer in a row.

Oh, and not to mention that we're in the midst of preparing our new house to live in, try and find a renter for the house we're leaving, and packing up and moving out in a week or two.

I so don't want to be pregnant. Not now. Not for a while.

And yes, we know how it happens.

But, we've chosen to let the Lord have control of the size of our family. This is not easy, especially for me. I'm the one who probably gets affected the most. I believe God designed the woman's body to function a certain way during the child bearing years to give her rest and spacing between children. But for some reason, God has decided to "break the rules" with me. We're not irresponsible. We truly believe that God knows what is best. He is the giver and taker of life. But don't think I have tons of faith to believe this. I don't. Sometimes it's a battle each day.

So God is kindly working in my heart. Keeping me at the end of my rope, so I have no choice but to rely on Him for everything. And He is my everything. Why should I begrudge letting Him work in my life for my good, and for His kingdom?

We can't take anything with us to heaven but our children and those we've led to the Lord. And God himself calls children a reward. Do I want to limit the rewards God wants to give me, and then in turn have less to offer to Him?

This little child within me has a special purpose. If it were up to me, he/she wouldn't be here yet. But God has a bigger and better plan than mine.

Baby #4 is due September 29th... only 24 days after Bethany turns 1 year.

Pray for me. Pray that I would daily be yielded to the Lord. That I would be very grateful, and have a special joy. That I would be courageous with the Lord's strength and help, and care for my family as I aught. Pray that I would not complain.

I'm grateful for the support of our families, our church, and most of all my precious husband. His care and love are something I could not do without. And he's working so hard in many things right now -- work, work at the new house, being an awesome daddy and hubby, and countless other things that come up and fill his time to the max.

Physically I'm not as bad off as I was with my last pregnancy. I don't know if that's because I'm taking some medication to help with nausea, or if this one is just different. My energy level is quite zapped, motivation is extremely low, and I still don't feel great (cooking/eating isn't fun, but I can do it).

Forgive me for rambling.

May God be glorified in my life, and may I truly learn to say "not my will, but Your's, Lord."

Bethy-boo (2 months)

Who's who? All my girls at two months old. Guesses? :-)

Punky-doo

My pretty girl

I wore this hat when I was her age!

Rachel loved the snow

Staying toasty warm inside, and quite happy

What the deer did... and we didn't even get to "bag" him!

My first thumb sucker

Christmas bear from Granny (great grandma)

We gave Abbi a special baby doll... she is loved! (oh, and that is Abbi's favorite shirt... Aunt Katy got it for her this summer, and it barely stays in the drawer)

Big blue eyes!

All the pictures from November through December
(to view pictures in order, click "previous" button above picture)

Bethany at one month -- October 5th

And just for fun -- Three Girls!

And here's Bethany at three weeks -- has it really only been three weeks? Seems like she's been apart of our family for longer than that.

Bethany Lauren arrived at 3:42am on September 5th, weighing 7lbs 6oz and is 19 inches long.

The Lord answered our prayers that we would make it to the birthing inn at the right time. Sure, we were only in the room 9 minutes before she was born, but we made it! (though on the drive there, it seemed pretty close to a car birth at some points)

Big sisters Abbi and Rachel adore their sister. Abbi especially so, as she understands it all and has totally shifted into the "biggest sister" role, helping Rachel to "be gentle."

We pray the Lord gives us wisdom and grace each day to raise our daughters to be women of God.